Sick

“I cannot go to school today”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more – that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue –
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure my left foot is broke –
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained.
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a silver in my thumb,
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is – what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is. . . Saturday?
G’bye I’m going out to play!”

Yes, I’m aware this poem is so very irrelevant, but is also very true…well at least when we were so young and schools were a disaster. not that I’m complaining in any way I always loved school in fact I miss it dearly…but of course we all must move on and start life from the next level. I guess Shel Silverstein was just feeling cocky when he wrote this poem, heck! He talks about a little girl who hate school too much she complains about all the bullshit she can think of just to skin school(poor dear). the little runt doesn’t realize its freaking Saturday(now that is an aspect I can relate to….oh! shit its Saturday WTF???) and instead of hanging with the girls and parting all night she goes out to play the boys!!!

“My hip hurts when I move my chin”

Oh come on Peggy Ann McKay get a life or at least learn how to lie like a pro, how the hell is you’re bloody hip connected to you’re bloody chin!!! and if who so ever she is whining to believes her, I have two words for you FACE PUNCH(or two) that’s what you deserve you lousy adult… maybe you do and little Peggy most probably fooled the pants off you all the time, how else would she thing to get away with this crap pot.

In a way I’m proud of Peggy’s insight and with… what other 12-year-old child in the 20th century (assuming that’s what and where she’s from) would be bold enough to go through with all this, if you know what I mean(Of course you don’t).

“My ‘pendix pains each time it rains”

Oh! Please… I’m sure Lady Gaga could come up with better stink. Wait… she has!!! Sorry Peggy you were out done by a weed sucking freak of nature recently, face it that’s how the world rolls,
“It doesn’t matter if you’re thirteen or sixty-five”
To quote Bowling For Soup – High School Never Ends (Improvised version) you in the original version it goes “doesn’t matter if you’re sixteen…” get it???

No!

Never mind.

MOVING ON…

“There is a hole inside my ear”

Duh… you dumb child that leads straight to your brain, guess you’re just shrunk out of existence or fell out of that gasping hole in your very sick ear, this most probably explains why you forgot its Saturday. Some advice for your next birthday (or have you forgotten that date as well) ask for a calendar from who ever looks after you (probably the matron at the mental heath hospital). If you haven’t forgotten its Saturday Mr.Silverstien would have to do through all this trouble to write this (and I wouldn’t be going through all this either).

“My mouth is wet, my throat is dry”

Sigh… someone gives this kid some water or a soda… she doesn’t know the remedy for a dry throat, I guess she doesn’t want to know to know… cheeky little brat!!!

Oh well guess we all need excuses at some point, no matter how retarded and stupid they are…
G’bye I’m going out to play!

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2 thoughts on “Sick

  1. manduns says:

    This made my day hahaha 😀
    “My ‘pendix pains each time it rains” just just lmao

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rothbourne says:

    I found this in my sisters old elocution book 😛 I wrote this years ago! still find it funny.

    Like

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